Xmas Fun

I’ve just been trawling the b3ta website and came across this rather amusing Christmas Cards of Truth challenge. I have included my favourites below:

  

Scam 3 - Re: Fraud / Scam investigation!

And there’s more….

I truly hope these people don’t give up.. their emails provide literally minutes of entertainment

Please govern yourself accordingly …

Forbes Polanski Internal Memo FAIL

 

Requires no commentary..I just hope Frank gets back to the office soon.. perhaps if anything to avoid another fail like this..

SCAM 2 *Please Use this money for the churches and less privileged*

A very poorly lady by the name of Rosemary Grant from Isreal wants to give me $1.8M, she has a cancer “problem” plus stroke “sickness”.. she really is the unluckiest person in the world reading this email.

The stroke must have affected her severely as she cannot spell the name of her own Country, but can spell perfectly the name of the small West African country that houses the bank that holds her funds

The faith and fail is strong in this one… Bless her

SCAM 1 *Contact BSIC urgent and receive your ATM CARD ok*

Translation Fail for scam artist ?

Alan Partridge Lap Dance scene

Alan Partridge Dream Dance from alsimpson on Vimeo.

Dancing the way it should be...

not boring from alsimpson on Vimeo.

Something Awful sample

Look Around You - Maths

Genius!

(Also available on Youtube here)

Lost in translation?

A refuse collector is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness, and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets out of his truck goes to the front door and knocks.
There's no answer.
Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
Eventually a Japanese man comes to the door.
"Harro!" says the Japanese man.
"Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?" asks the collector.
"I bin on toiret," explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.
Realising the little foreign fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.
"No ! no ! mate, Where's your dust bin?".
"I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Japanese man, still perplexed.
"Listen," says the collector. "You're misunderstanding me. Where's your 'w h e e l i e' bin?'"
"OK, OK. " replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin, and whispers in the collector's ear.
"I wheelie bin having sex wirra wife's sista.........!"

72% Hetero 28% Homo

According to http://www.stockholmpride.org/howhetero/ by analysing my Twitter feed I am actually 72% hetero..I hope that lays to rest any preconceptions you have of me, hey hey hey hang on that makes me 28% Homo doesn't it! - Wank

Here is the proof:

 

neoplasmsix is 72% HeteroHow hetero are you? Try out any Twitter name and get the real picture. Are we really the words we use?

Demotivate us please

Here some of my favourites from www.demotivateus.com .

I really don't think these require any discussion….